This blog ends next week, so here’s one of my favorite paragraphs that was rejected in the final joke list:
Unique doesn’t always mean better! You want record profits? Don’t create a new product, but instead to improve on the existing product. Subway uses fresh lettuce? Then your restaurant uses lettuce so fresh that the trees scream out in agony with every bite and roots attack you as you leave. When you make a unique product, you’re not improving anything, you’re just creating a new category. All I’m saying is if you make a ham sandwich, then your ham sandwich is so good that the pigs will get together once a year and fight each other Gladiator-style just so the armor-clad bloodthirsty victor has the honor of being used for that sandwich.
In the bakery next to my work, they decided to decorate for the Christmas season:
Yes, this Santa has talents besides managing the largest collection of little people in the world. Here’s the cool Santa, who under a single beam of moonlight, plays his smooth jazz through the winter nights while Mrs. Claus looks on him with those same eyes as when they first started dating.
Still, Santa always looks the same every year with the same movies and the same songs. It’s refreshing to see Santa with new props. Plus, it makes him look hundreds of years younger.
